Was wondering why I feel like writing only when I get nostalgic about anything personal!! well cant answer that now but I'm definitely back now to write coz I'm frustrated to the core.

I really can't help wondering what made me take pharmacy in undergrad in the first place ( I'm its coz of my mom jaan though) but right now I m gearing up to do my "DOctor of pharmacy" . Phew..that sounds like a big degree -ain't it!? N coz of that I working my *** off to complete English composition course. Hmm I can see u all go ..aahhh:O but yes Im taking it. Till this very moment I didnt realize how frustrating it can get when u cant write a 300word journal regarding multiculturalism or pornography.!!! what crap . I jus love to write about anything and everything (c spirituality..it confused me , n it will to u too) but cant seem to get a word out of my head when given a topic. haahhaa!! its crappy shit.
neways , enough , I'd better get back to multiculturalism!!!!!:(

Spirituality

Hmm...Disappeared from the page for really long rite! Im back now ...n I wanna see how I can put my ideas about spirituality in words! I donno why I wasthinking about this ..but I happened to think for real some time today!

Spirituality - well I dont know the dictionary meaning for it but for me its some things that directs the mind and "God" is a belief that there is someone powerful n more capable of anything -than me. Well , dont get me wrong at this point- i dont think im "can do it all" person , but I do believe that a lot of things have to taken through a long road before they can b left for destiny! At the same time , at each step of work , I pray saying please let this happen without obstacles.

I think spirituality developed because people were blindly believing that praying idols can "solve" problems without realising "its all in the mind" n its your perception about what to do, resolves half the problem . It developed to teach people to believe in themselves, to know what they are all about. But I feel God is still there because we need some "object" to focus on. I cant definitely focus in space , I need something to put my attention on , so god still is as important in spirituality along with the concept itself.

Well , my thought process stopped here. I couldnt get myself to think more. What do u all think now???

Nostalgia

I'am wondering when most girls usually realise the importance of having Mom around ! Well , I think I realise her importance in my life now ..specially at times when I'am jus unable to pull myself to do the chores but cannot exempt myself from them either. Not that Dileep will mind if I ask him to take me out ,but its this self imposed " wont eat out frequently" rule stops me from asking him .

Today , for triggers unknown , I came down with migraine and jus couldnt get up n cook rice jus for myself(Dileep had team lunch today) though my tummy was growling with hunger. To add to my agony , the thought of food was actually nauseating . So , I ended up fasting n yes sleeping the whole day!

I really wish amma was a phone call away at these times. Hmm ...well I think I chose this life...I wanted to go abroad badly n here Im.

But Im better than mornign now ..but still cant stand up long enough to cook:( will try though

moving on

Jus read sruti;s email. Pretty nostalgic..im kinda regreeting not meeting her n other frens when I was in India. But , its was not possible , timings didnt match , places we were in were different. but , sometimes its worth meeting ..u kinda revind into those days whe nlife was more carefree.. u had nothing really to worry about. Life moves on..doesnt it ? n one has to move along with it .

situations change ,people ard change..sometimes u even feel its too late to let your feelings be known to some. Nevethe less , its worth living with those sweet memories .

i know i have been in hiding last 2 mths but now im back.
inlaws left to sis-in law's place . infact we dropped them there ,went around florida n smokies for ard 10days
pretty tiring trip but it was loads of fun.
got to see 4m snow fall to hot beaches in a span of 10days...amazing!!

neways back home now and home alone. end of holidays sounds sad. but must move on